The Repudiating or Rejecting Parent Type
Oh darling, I feel your pain on this one (this is my father). In a word, they are a tyrant.
This is the most destructive emotionally immature parent type.
I am so sorry, precious reader, if this was what you had to live through!
A Repudiating or Rejecting Parent shares some things in common with the other types but in the extreme: they are ENTIRELY focused on their own needs and demonstrate ZERO empathy.
Are in fact, totally incapable of it.
They, too, have no self-awareness or self-reflection, impenetrable boundaries, see their child as property, and rarely communicate with them except in a disconnected or hostile manner.
They are extremely cold, reactive, attacking, and demeaning to their child and just about anyone else, too.
There is no “too close” with this type, ONLY too distant.
And you may even find distance to be a relief with this parent. You learn very early on that getting their attention usually spells pain and danger for you. So you tiptoe around them on eggshells.
The special sauce this parent brings is…
…a tendency to alternate between outright ignoring their child or raging at them. Anger and rejection are their standard factory setting.
To them, the child is an absolute interruption and chore and they have no desire to be near their child.
There is no comforting their child, and they are not open to being comforted themselves, by almost anyone.
They love to mock, dismiss, degrade, and tear down their little ones.
They see themselves as a free agent, answering to no one and responsible for nothing. They are so much smarter than everyone else, don’t you know—in their own mind.
They are often full of schemes they love to talk about.
This is the parent most likely to be a sociopath or psychopath. Most likely to commit the most heinous abuses to a child. They are rank with bitterness and violence.
Ironically, though they wish you were never born, and obviously don’t want to have to take care of you at all, they won’t allow more caring and concerned people to take you away from them either.
You are their ragdoll and they are going to make you suffer for having shown up to impose on their life with your needs. They seem to delight in your pain and terror. Pure evil.
The only hope the child of this parent type has is being taken away by the other parent… or the authorities. But they are smart enough to hide abuse for years to evade authorities.
That’s why only someone else close to the child—like the other parent or teachers or even so-called “karens” and “nosy neighbors”—is so important.
If only someone close has the courage and the persistence!
But if these other adults are the weak, complacent types, or just afraid of this tyrant themselves, or just give up to easily, the child’s outlook is bleak.
Their parenting motto might best be summed up as:
“You are a burden, stay away from me.”
Congratulations on uncovering your unique emotional journey with the Repudiating or Rejecting Parent Type.
Sweet child, I hope with all my heart you are feeling okay after reading this.
If it triggers something too heavy to bear, please call someone you can trust and let them comfort you. You deserve all the comfort in the world.
If the constraints of your upbringing are impacting your marriage and career, you’re not alone.
Good parents will set us up for life, but bad parents like these can set us back, sometimes for decades.
Especially in our closest relationships or career ambitions where we might unwittingly be acting out some of the same low EQ programming they “gifted” us as our inheritance.
No matter what we do, we just seem doomed to fail, and we don’t know why we keep sabotaging every good in our life, too.
If this sounds at all like you, then you might enjoy listening to The Romance Mystic’s podcast “Messy Middles.”
Imagine embarking on a transformative adventure with our podcast and vibrant community, tailored to help you conquer the specific challenges this emotional legacy may have posed in your marriage and career.
And you get to help us build it, too!
Read on to see what I mean…
About the “Messy Middles” Podcast, hosted by Kiddo Elliott, The Romance Mystic…
TUESDAY EPISODES
We delve deep into ONE of the 111+ top marriage challenges as outlined and shared with all my email subscribers in the free illustrated guide: 111+ Marriage Dragons and How to Slay Them.
We are sharing all the best-known possible solutions, and gathering more insight and wisdom from our listeners, too. That’s YOU!
Our mission here is to inspire TRUE love between the sheets… and divine cooperation between the sexes.
WEEKLY GUIDE, CHECKLIST, WORKBOOK
After each episode, I’ll compile this collective wisdom into a comprehensive, action-packed guide and workbook dedicated to that particular challenge.
THURSDAY EPISODES
We’re all about helping people identify and set the most solid standards for a mate, using a personalized math formula of sorts I call ‘Zero Factors.’
While listeners await that ideal mate, we’ll learn how to focus on shaping our own character into the best it can be and figuring out how to identify and pursue a career we will enjoy.
REWARDING PRIVATE COMMUNITY
For members of our private community, the fun, growth, and adventure continue!
Here, in the digital haven I’ve built for us all, we’ll come together to discuss each topic freely to our heart’s content.
Ask questions, groan over my LOTR references, and connect with peers who understand the journey we’re all on—the journey to break free from the challenges imposed by careless, immature, selfish, narcissistic, or loveless parenting during our most impressionable years. A childhood without role models, adult guidance, or much love.
And because I am SO not claiming to have any sort of monopoly on the best information to help members blossom in their search for love, marriage, and career, I promise to make two things happen in our community always…
First, you, you, you. I want YOUR feedback and will give you space and plenty of opportunities to share it.
Secondly, I’ll keep learning myself AND seeking out other successful couples with decades-long marriages—humanity’s wisest elders—to interview and preserve their marriage lessons and stories.
These will be our cherished and honored community Marriage Mentors! We’ll find our good examples and role models, by golly. (Let me know if you personally can send any my way for interviews!)
Together, we’ll all learn how to re-parent ourselves to grow and transform into the calm, confident, wise, patient, responsible, brave, honest, and loving adult marriage and career success stories we were always meant to be.
So, get ready to ignite your personal growth, enhance your relationships, and unleash your potential.
We can’t wait to set out on this thrilling journey of growth and healing with you!
Til next time, Sunshine, I wish you love!
Hasta la Pasta + XOXO,
