I’m Kiddo Elliott, the Romance Mystic.
My mission: to inspire TRUE love between the sheets . . . and divine cooperation between the sexes.
Basically, I’m here to help save the nuclear family unit by showing you how to put the FUN back into your defunct marriage or dysfunctional dating life.
I want to show you all that I’ve learned about how to find and keep the sort of romantic relationship and marriage you’ve always dreamed of – the kind people write songs about – or get it back if the love seems gone.
This is something I am uniquely equipped to do.
It’s a topic people are forever asking me for advice on.
One I spent A LOT of time learning about. And still do.
I had to.
Childhood for me was a father in prison from the time I was 4 years old, and a poor, but beautiful teenage mother who would marry SIX TIMES . . . plus have 3 additional broken engagements.
I’m nobody’s victim, but yes, I would experience sexual abuse, too, which would create some sexual distresses.
I also attended 13 schools before I finally graduated.
By then, I was already living on my own since age 16 because it had become unbearable to keep living under the cruel whims of my textbook narcissist mother and her latest husband, this one an alcoholic.
That’s just the highlights for me.
Maybe some of this you can relate to?
Believe me, there’s worse to tell you later when and if I’m ready.
And I will if I think it will help you.
But yes, childhood was utter chaos. A very tough beginning for any highly sensitive and creative card-carrying introvert girl like myself.
I couldn’t wait to grow up. I held on through a lot by dreaming of one day getting to be an adult, in charge of my own life.
Then, I told myself, I could finally create the loving family and the safe, stable, quiet, pleasant, beautiful, and prosperous home life for myself that I had never known. But always dreamed of.
So when I finally met the man of my dreams one day at DFW Airport–a man I literally prayed for God to help make me worthy of–I had no good role models or information or experience whatsoever on how to be happy in marriage or make it last.
Or quite honestly how to just not be a toxic, mean, selfish, manipulative, raging and controlling psycho bitch female. Because, yeah, I kinda was! By then, I was living in the shadow side of my INFJ personality type. ‘Mercurial’ was how one male associate described me. Boy, was he being nice!
To top it all off, my new husband’s second-generation Italian American family and fairy tale background could not be more opposite from my own.
It was like we came from two completely different realities.
And while I could hardly believe I managed to bag such a wonderful man who seemed to adore me completely despite my many (many) faults, I knew that shiny new love feeling would eventually wear off.
It always does. I’d witnessed it in my parents’ relationships over and over again.
Instead of being replaced by that newer, deeper, real love like I just knew somehow deep down it was supposed to be in a longer marriage, I worried my out-of-control emotional habits, sexual hang-ups, and bad attitude would ultimately blow up our marriage, never allowing that second stage of genuine love to even take root.
Maybe I’d even self-sabatoge just so I could ‘prove’ to myself something I already fretted over: that I didn’t deserve to be this happy with a man this good in the first place.
How could I change my family tree and beat the odds?
I had to know. And I was hellbound and determined to figure it out.
And so began my education in romantic relationships, sex, and married life.
I studied every relationship, sex, or marriage guru, great, and even little known expert I could find.
Together with some ideas I had already started testing in my promiscuous teenage years and pre-marital relationships, I would end up developing a unique relationship philosophy that has let my marriage thrive and blossom beautifully to this day, and helped anyone else I’ve shared it with.
Things like what I call ‘The Zero Factors,’ ‘Fight Nice,’ ‘Get Ahead, Screw Your Coworkers,’ ‘The Essential 8,’ ‘Hold on through the Hate,’ ‘Follow Your Fears,’ and ‘Thinking deathbed thoughts.’
Now, I’ll be sharing all this with you!
Mostly, through fun, addictive, gamified, and totally targeted online courses (for men and women), guided divine light meditations, and a spicy podcast and video series that I’ll make available in full exclusively through my private online community network I am in the process of building for you right now (and would LOVE to hear your guidance and input!).
Yes, darling, you WILL learn how to put the FUN back into your dysfunctional marriage or defunct dating life.
And how to think differently than nearly anyone else about the selection process before marriage (something NO ONE seems to adequately cover in the relationship experts arena).
You’ll also start seeing and thinking differently about the daily demands and purpose of your relationship after the wedding cake is gone.
You will certainly begin to understand and appreciate the opposite sex like never before, and this knowledge will amaze and delight you.
And I focus on ACTION. Not only platitudes or ‘how to communicate better’ airy-fairy, mumbo jumbo.
No, I’m all about giving you the hard truths so you can confidently experiment with real, practical actions you can take right now to start seeing wonderful results.
Prepare to start loving the dating life again because I’ll help make it SO SIMPLE for you.
Also, get ready to start feeling #heavenblessed for the marriage you already have. Even if things are rough or downright dire right now.
And just for added fun and inspiration, I’ll also write what I hope will be tantalizing, toe-curling, tear-wringing, fun-loving, heart-warming romance novels that’ll make you sigh with satisfaction and rest your hand over your heart from joy.
I call these “Dream Romances” versus “Sweet” or “Steamy.” They express my romance writing philosophy that aims to remove the junior high-level pornographic filth sex and language, and yet still keep that heat. But a heat that leaves you feeling inspired and uplifted and blushingly aroused without feeling absolutely masturbatory and grossed out.
These books will also feature characters illustrating the attitudes/behaviors that make love between a man and a woman work like magic.
Strong fiery females who are perfectly feminine, creative and inspired–comfortably demonstrating our traditionally feminine qualities, flaws and all. Not pushovers, or narcissistic control freaks and dead-eyed bitches.
These heroines will be coming up hard against good, strong men who are perfectly, proudly masculine, warts and all, just the way God designed them to be. Flawed, too, but not sociopathic! Each the perfect compliment to the other, the missing ingredient in each other’s life to make the whole thing truly worthwhile.
Just like your mate will be for you in REAL life, too. You’ll see!
Here’s to your lifelong happiness, with hope restored and love renewed.
Time for me to say hasta la pasta!
Meanwhile, you keep thinking deathbed thoughts, my fellow Romance Mystic in the Making (and Mating)!
Til next time Sunshine, I wish you love.