The Complacent or Passive Parent Type
Oh darling, I feel your pain on this one (my mother-in-law). In a word, they are cowards.
While you might have warm memories of this type of parent, it is usually only because you are comparing them to their partner who was often even more emotionally immature than they were.
They were “nice” but will always fail to protect you, typically from your other parent or abusive adults in the household or even your other siblings. This could range from mere bullying to sexual abuse.
A Complacent or Passive Parent shares some things in common with the other three types: they are primarily focused on their own needs and can demonstrate a bit more empathy than the others, but in a limited way.
They, too, have little to no self-awareness or self-reflection, and conversations are only a little less one-sided and centered on them than they might be with the other types.
In other words, they may seem to listen well, and yet not take in much of what you said or remember details or seek to better understand you.
They offer a little more affection and intimacy than the other types, but again on a shallow, perfunctory level.
While they CAN be thoughtful on occasion, they too are also insistent on being either too distant or too close.
They’ll either be the smothering type, or forget all about you until you come looking for them or else they need something.
The special sauce this weak-willed, self-gratifying, passive “be your friend when it’s convenient for me” parent brings is…
…a tendency to be more warm, and kind, even fun, especially when you are younger… but they just want to let someone else be the bad guy.
They are happy to let the other parent figure run the show.
They see themselves as the mellow or “laid back parent.” But it’s just weakness.
Not always, but when it happens, this is also the parent we have all heard of who won’t abuse the child themselves but will stand by and say nothing when someone else does.
Theirs is a benign, apathetic neglect.
Many of us may think they were a great parent, but as adults, it becomes clearer that they were not a good parent.
They just wanted to be allowed to get back to their own personal amusements, video games, tv show, book, or whatever.
Their parenting motto might best be summed up as:
“You are my little darling, but don’t expect me to stick my neck out and stand up for you.”
Congratulations on uncovering your unique emotional journey with the Complacent or Passive Parent Type.
If the constraints of your upbringing are impacting your marriage and career, you’re not alone.
Good parents will set us up for life, but bad parents like these can set us back, sometimes for decades.
Especially in our closest relationships or career ambitions where we might unwittingly be acting out some of the same low EQ programming they “gifted” us as our inheritance.
No matter what we do, we just seem doomed to fail, and we don’t know why we keep sabotaging every good in our life, too.
If this sounds at all like you, then you might enjoy listening to The Romance Mystic’s podcast “Messy Middles.”
Imagine embarking on a transformative adventure with our podcast and vibrant community, tailored to help you conquer the specific challenges this emotional legacy may have posed in your marriage and career.
And you get to help us build it, too!
Read on to see what I mean…
About the “Messy Middles” Podcast, hosted by Kiddo Elliott, The Romance Mystic…
TUESDAY EPISODES
We delve deep into ONE of the 111+ top marriage challenges as outlined and shared with all my email subscribers in the free illustrated guide: 111+ Marriage Dragons and How to Slay Them.
We are sharing all the best-known possible solutions, and gathering more insight and wisdom from our listeners, too. That’s YOU!
Our mission here is to inspire TRUE love between the sheets… and divine cooperation between the sexes.
WEEKLY GUIDE, CHECKLIST, WORKBOOK
After each episode, I’ll compile this collective wisdom into a comprehensive, action-packed guide and workbook dedicated to that particular challenge.
THURSDAY EPISODES
We’re all about helping people identify and set the most solid standards for a mate, using a personalized math formula of sorts I call ‘Zero Factors.’
While listeners await that ideal mate, we’ll learn how to focus on shaping our own character into the best it can be and figuring out how to identify and pursue a career we will enjoy.
REWARDING PRIVATE COMMUNITY
For members of our private community, the fun, growth, and adventure continue!
Here, in the digital haven I’ve built for us all, we’ll come together to discuss each topic freely to our heart’s content.
Ask questions, groan over my LOTR references, and connect with peers who understand the journey we’re all on—the journey to break free from the challenges imposed by careless, immature, selfish, narcissistic, or loveless parenting during our most impressionable years. A childhood without role models, adult guidance, or much love.
And because I am SO not claiming to have any sort of monopoly on the best information to help members blossom in their search for love, marriage, and career, I promise to make two things happen in our community always…
First, you, you, you. I want YOUR feedback and will give you space and plenty of opportunities to share it.
Secondly, I’ll keep learning myself AND seeking out other successful couples with decades-long marriages—humanity’s wisest elders—to interview and preserve their marriage lessons and stories.
These will be our cherished and honored community Marriage Mentors! We’ll find our good examples and role models, by golly. (Let me know if you personally can send any my way for interviews!)
Together, we’ll all learn how to re-parent ourselves to grow and transform into the calm, confident, wise, patient, responsible, brave, honest, and loving adult marriage and career success stories we were always meant to be.
So, get ready to ignite your personal growth, enhance your relationships, and unleash your potential.
We can’t wait to set out on this thrilling journey of growth and healing with you!
Til next time, Sunshine, I wish you love!
Hasta la Pasta + XOXO,
