The Overcompensating or Driven Parent Type
Oh darling, I feel your pain on this one, knowing my father-in-law! In a word, they are a bully.
It feels very much like nothing you do is ever good enough, and you have to overachieve to have any chance to earn their love. And even then, no luck. They are never impressed or pleased.
An Overcompensating or Driven Parent shares some things in common with the other three types: they are primarily focused on their own needs, demonstrate limited empathy, have little to no self-awareness or self-reflection, and conversations are usually one-sided and centered on them.
They can ramble on about themselves for hours.
Interestingly, this parent may take excellent care of your physical needs, but giving affection or caring about your emotional needs ain’t gonna happen much.
They tend to have little respect for boundaries, and will be either too close and smothering—clinging to you like a barnacle—or too distant—keeping you at arm’s length.
They are usually uncomfortable with any kind of real intimacy or affection.
Their idea of comforting you sounds like, “Oh, suck it up already.”
They are highly defensive, completely unopen to criticism, or taking responsibility for their bad behavior. Afterall… what bad behavior? It’s not their fault you don’t listen to them, right? Sheesh.
The special sauce this perpetually disappointed, and overbearing parent brings is…
…a tendency to enforce rigid values and perfectionistic ideals.
They are forever busy chasing their goals with a will like a machine. They tend to be highly disciplined people.
This parent loves to run the show and likes to make sure everyone knows who is in charge around here. In their mind, they are the one who has to fix everything. No one else can quite do it right anyway.
This parent CAN be narcissistic, usually in the inflated ego kind of way. The extreme sense of superiority that really is just an attempt to mask the deepest of insecurities.
Their parenting motto might best be summed up as:
“You are a reflection of me; don’t ask me to worry myself about what YOU want.”
Congratulations on uncovering your unique emotional journey with the Overcompensating or Driven Parent.
If the constraints of your upbringing are impacting your marriage and career, you’re not alone.
Good parents will set us up for life, but bad parents like these can set us back, sometimes for decades.
Especially in our closest relationships or career ambitions where we might unwittingly be acting out some of the same low EQ programming they “gifted” us as our inheritance.
No matter what we do, we just seem doomed to fail, and we don’t know why we keep sabotaging every good in our life, too.
If this sounds at all like you, then you might enjoy listening to The Romance Mystic’s podcast “Messy Middles.”
Imagine embarking on a transformative adventure with our podcast and vibrant community, tailored to help you conquer the specific challenges this emotional legacy may have posed in your marriage and career.
And you get to help us build it, too!
Read on to see what I mean…
About the “Messy Middles” Podcast, hosted by Kiddo Elliott, The Romance Mystic…
TUESDAY EPISODES
We delve deep into ONE of the 111+ top marriage challenges as outlined and shared with all my email subscribers in the free illustrated guide: 111+ Marriage Dragons and How to Slay Them.
We are sharing all the best-known possible solutions, and gathering more insight and wisdom from our listeners, too. That’s YOU!
Our mission here is to inspire TRUE love between the sheets… and divine cooperation between the sexes.
WEEKLY GUIDE, CHECKLIST, WORKBOOK
After each episode, I’ll compile this collective wisdom into a comprehensive, action-packed guide and workbook dedicated to that particular challenge.
THURSDAY EPISODES
We’re all about helping people identify and set the most solid standards for a mate, using a personalized math formula of sorts I call ‘Zero Factors.’
While listeners await that ideal mate, we’ll learn how to focus on shaping our own character into the best it can be and figuring out how to identify and pursue a career we will enjoy.
REWARDING PRIVATE COMMUNITY
For members of our private community, the fun, growth, and adventure continue!
Here, in the digital haven I’ve built for us all, we’ll come together to discuss each topic freely to our heart’s content.
Ask questions, groan over my LOTR references, and connect with peers who understand the journey we’re all on—the journey to break free from the challenges imposed by careless, immature, selfish, narcissistic, or loveless parenting during our most impressionable years. A childhood without role models, adult guidance, or much love.
And because I am SO not claiming to have any sort of monopoly on the best information to help members blossom in their search for love, marriage, and career, I promise to make two things happen in our community always…
First, you, you, you. I want YOUR feedback and will give you space and plenty of opportunities to share it.
Secondly, I’ll keep learning myself AND seeking out other successful couples with decades-long marriages—humanity’s wisest elders—to interview and preserve their marriage lessons and stories.
These will be our cherished and honored community Marriage Mentors! We’ll find our good examples and role models, by golly. (Let me know if you personally can send any my way for interviews!)
Together, we’ll all learn how to re-parent ourselves to grow and transform into the calm, confident, wise, patient, responsible, brave, honest, and loving adult marriage and career success stories we were always meant to be.
So, get ready to ignite your personal growth, enhance your relationships, and unleash your potential.
We can’t wait to set out on this thrilling journey of growth and healing with you!
Til next time, Sunshine, I wish you love!
Hasta la Pasta + XOXO,
